When Passion Meets Property Lines
There are hobbyists, and then there's Gerald Fitzwilliam of rural Ohio, who apparently decided that a birdhouse just wasn't ambitious enough. Over the course of three years, Gerald assembled what he describes as a "to-scale tribute" to Paris's most iconic landmark — right behind his two-car garage and adjacent to his above-ground pool.
It stands roughly 47 feet tall (okay, so maybe not quite full-scale), constructed primarily from reclaimed steel rebar, old satellite dishes, and what neighbors believe to be every shopping cart ever reported missing from the local Kroger.
What Inspired the Tower?
According to Gerald, the whole thing started after a trip to France in 2019 that he describes as "life-changing." When pressed for details, he noted that he never actually made it to France — he watched a documentary about it and "got the same vibe."
"I thought, why should Paris have all the nice things? Ohio deserves culture too." — Gerald Fitzwilliam, Visionary
The Neighborhood's Response
Reactions from the surrounding community have been, in the most diplomatic terms, mixed.
- Barbara next door says it blocks her afternoon sun and has filed three separate complaints with the county zoning office.
- The Hendersons across the street have started charging $5 "view fees" to anyone who parks in front of their house to take photos.
- Local teens have reportedly begun referring to the neighborhood as "Little Paris," which Gerald loves.
- The county zoning board is "looking into it," which is government-speak for "we have no idea what to do with this."
Is It Actually Impressive?
Grudgingly? Kind of, yes. Structural engineers who've driven past (not professionally, just out of curiosity) say it appears stable. Gerald added solar-powered LED lights that twinkle at night, and on clear evenings you can see the glow from the highway.
He's also added a gift shop in his garage, which sells postcards, miniature versions of the tower made from popsicle sticks, and something he calls "Ohio Croissants" that are just crescent rolls from a can.
What Happens Next?
Gerald says he has no plans to take it down and is already sketching designs for Phase 2: a scale model of the Louvre, which he plans to build where the pool currently sits.
The pool has been relocated to the living room. Barbara has filed a fourth complaint.
Lessons We Can All Take Away
- Zoning laws exist for a reason — and that reason is Gerald.
- Passion and ambition are admirable. Also, ask your neighbors first.
- Ohio is, against all odds, becoming more cosmopolitan.
- If you're going to build a landmark, at least add a gift shop.
We reached out to the actual Eiffel Tower for comment. They did not respond, likely out of professional jealousy.